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Live the Life You Want: Don't Listen to Your 20-Year-Old Self


Next year will be my "20th High School Reunion." I was reminded just how old I've gotten when I received my "Save the Date" in my email. I'm not going.

However, this month marks 13 years since I graduated college, and I've been reflecting on my 20s and so far what I have done in my 30s. These thoughts keep me up at night, and frankly, there is no use in reliving the past. It's enough to drive a sane person crazy!

When I was 25, I thought "Oh man, I'm almost 30. I need to get serious about my career." When I turned 30, I thought "Oh no, I still don't have a solid career, and I better find a boyfriend soon, or I will never be married." I would like to slap my past 25-year-old and 30-year-old self in the face.



Because, and I mean this with an almost-certainty that comes with age and maturity--No one cares! That's it. Plain and simple.

I spent a lot of my 20s and early 30s thinking about what other people were doing, 'Why are they so successful and I'm not?' or 'All my friends are getting married and having babies, but I just want to party all the time. What's wrong with me??'.

There was nothing wrong with me. I was living my life, the way I wanted to live it at the time, and now I'm still living my life, but I'm not in this constant rush to be successful like I was 10 years ago. I am being selective, careful, and to an extent, experimental. Because, life doesn't end at 35, life doesn't end at 40. People continue to learn and thrive and become better versions of themselves as they mature and 'grow up.'


Here I am now, 36-years-old, and trying to figure out my next path in life, career wise. I'm not listening to what other people want me to do, like I did in the past. I'm more realistic this time, because anything I'm forced to do because I can "make so much money" eventually becomes boring. Creatively, I feel I'm at my best, and that is why I'm writing this blog, writing a book about my mom, all the while figuring out my next steps.

I still like to party, but I'm not the "drop everything to drink" type of person anymore. I'm not married, but I've been in a committed relationship for 5 years, and we are both still growing and learning with each other. Because of my past with men, and growing up with a single mom, it's made me cautionary, and I don't believe in getting married because 'everyone else is doing it.'

As for kids, well, that's a tricky one. I have off and on pictured a life with them, but on the other hand, I think of the freedoms I have now that would disappear once a kid is in the picture. But, then again, life is unpredictable. Maybe I'll just get a dog.

In the meantime, while this "20th High School Anniversary" looms above me like a storm cloud, I think about this--in 5 years, am I going to remember that I cared? Probably not. And maybe I will have a new career I never dreamed of having, and maybe I'll be married and have a baby. Or, I could be in this same spot. Will anyone care? Probably not.





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